Lindsay Lohan’s Appendix Is Important

EXPERTS AGREE POP SLUTLET’S APPENDICECTOMY ON PAR WITH REAGAN’S SURGERY AFTER ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT

FITSNews – January 5, 2007 – With the exception of having to hang around Lindsay Lohan all the time, it must be nice being Lindsay Lohan.

Honestly, who else could make like every celebrity gossip website (a.k.a. celebri-site) in the world stop dead in its tracks over an emergency appendicectomy?

Not that Lindsay could come close to spelling either “emergency” or “appendicectomy.” Or “lung,” “leg” or “arm” for that matter.

We could even let Lindsay try the abbreviated “appendectomy” and she’d probably just start repeating the only three letters she knows over and over and over again (”A-B-C, A-B-C, A-B-C”) before giggling and asking if she got it right.

Lindsay probably also has no idea what her appendix does. Of course we all know that they don’t do ANYTHING – but Lindsay doesn’t know that. She would probably just keep guessing and guessing things that appendixes do until the whole thing started to resemble an Abbott and Costello routine.

Obviously we love Lindsay very much, and wish her a full and speedy recovery.

That won’t stop us, of course, from placing our bets on something crazy happening to the appendix before all this is over with.