Random Bigtits … Er, Tidbits
ICE THROWN AT PARIS HILTON, CONTRACT PORT LOBBYISTS TERMINATED, NO ONE SURE QUITE WHAT TO WEAR TO SCGOP INAUGURAL BALL
FITSNews - January 4, 2007 - The people who give out the Congressional Medal of Honor … wait, that would probably be Congress, wouldn’t it? … anyway, whoever it is needs to update their criteria to include the anonymous hero who threw a piece of ice at Paris Hilton in Las Vegas last week.
We should never forget such acts of bravery and self-sacrifice, friends, because our very freedom and way of life as Americans depend on them. They should seriously hold parades for this guy in every major U.S. City. With confetti. And balloon animals. Because we like ballon animals.
Actually, we’re amazed that the ice actually got through to Paris. We’re surprised it didn’t stop in mid-air several inches in front of her body and decide to melt instead of exposing itself to what is likely a smorgasbord of communicable diseases.
STATE PORTS AUTHORITY TERMINATING CONTRACT LOBBYISTS
Speaking of heroes, we’ve got to give it up for S.C. House Majority Leader Jimmy Merrill.
Gov. Sanford may think that kissing Bill Stern’s rear end is the right approach to taxpayer-funded contract lobbyists, but Merrill - much like Tyler Durden - favors the kick ass approach instead.
FITSNews has learned from some of our friends in the South Carolina lobbying community that Merrill met with Stern yesterday and received assurances that both Fred Allen and Dan Jones would be relieved of their duties as contract lobbyists to the S.C. State Ports Authority.
We guess that when it comes to standing up against for the taxpayers against contract lobbyists, turns out Majority Leader Merrill is a lot like the governor, except with testacles.
DECISIONS, DECISIONS
Somehow the FITS girls have ended up on the receiving end of an invitation to the black-tie SCGOP Inaugural Ball on January 9. And guess what? No one has a clue what they’re going to wear.
Obviously some iteration of the classic LBD is in order, but we can’t all go wearing LBD’s can we?
Comments
By Greta on January 4th, 2007 at 10:53 am
Great….I just forwarded your website to someone I highly respect in the legal/political arena b/c I particularly liked your two entries on “Bobby” and the “ports” and this is what he will see when he logs on! You’re a great writer Willie, but definitely Sic.
By Greta on January 4th, 2007 at 11:41 am
An apology….I was premature in my attack. There was no story when I logged on…just the pic.
By fitsnews on January 4th, 2007 at 11:47 am
Greta,
Goodness darling! You are practically a FITS girl yourself so no apology is ever needed from you!
Additionally, we feel that if your highly respected friend in the legal/ political arena happens to be a straight male, he will not have a problem with the picture we selected to accompany this morning bigtits … damn, tidbits. Did it again.