Sic Willie Busts Up Blog’s Comment Section

EXPERTS AGREE FOLKS’ COMMENT IS THE MOST SARCASTIC THING WRITTEN IN POLITICAL BLOGOSPHERE … ALL YEAR

FITSNews – January 2, 2007 - Sic Willie crashed the comment page of the uber-annoying new LaurinLine this morning, responding to anonymously-posted rumors that George Will he is the actual author of SCHotline founder Jeffrey Sewell’s recent anti-anti-smoking oped.

Damn, this thing ran in Greenville too?

Anyway, not since the controversy surrounding Judge Peyton Cabot Harrison III’s supposed authorship of an unsigned note on the right to privacy in West Wing Season I has there been such a hub-bub in Laurin Manning’s world over who wrote what, when and for how much?

Of course without such meaningless obsessions, the world would have been deprived of this gem:

You got me. I also wrote the lyric to Stairway to Heaven that talks about Satan when you play it backward, but hell, then again I’m probably writing all of these comments so what does it matter, right? You people just don’t know the power of the Matrix. Morpheus showed it to me once. Then he took me to the Oracle. Then I got a cookie. And everything the Oracle told me has come true. Everything.

You know I write damn near everything that sucks come to think of it. That parking ticket you got this morning? Me. The Dear John letter your girl sent you? Me again. Your obit? That’ll be me too.

I wrote the Satanic Verses. Lindsey Lohan’s text messages. I wrote the OJ “If I Did It” book that never got published. The police transcript of Thad Viers’ crank calls? Yeah I wrote that, just like I wrote all those loopholes into the DUI law. The Southern Response to the emancipation proclamation? Me. Totally me. There’s an oped going in there tomorrow that I think I wrote, but damn if I don’t get confused seeing as I write at least half of the opeds that go in there.

Bob McAlister’s last oped? You know the one telling Mark Sanford what to say in his next State of the State? Yeah I wrote that. Well, as much of it as Bob McAlister wrote of Mark Sanford’s first State of the State, which was none. Because I wrote it. That’s right. All of it. Well except the part about Ataturk. Definitely didn’t write that. Definitely, definitely didn’t write that. Definitely not. But I definitely did write the screenplay to Rain Man.

Anyway, you got me dude. You took a break from just “abiding” and you got me. But Laurin, for what it’s worth, I wrote the screenplay to the Matrix too.

Just want to clear the air. Thanks. You people can go back to enjoying your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches now.

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