AL GORE NEEDS TO INVENT SOMETHING TO MAKE IT COLD AGAIN, AT LEAST AROUND CHRISTMAS FITSNews - December 20 - We don't know what it's like where you are, but South Carolina is downright Sauna-rrific these days. We can't even listen to all of our favorite Christmas carols without getting pissed off because
Read story »Archive for December, 2006
Pataki Oversees Rise of Freedom Tower in New York
CONSTRUCTION BEGINS AT GROUND ZERO ON 1776-FOOT SKYSCRAPER THAT HAS BEEN NEW YORK GOVERNOR'S DREAM SINCE 9/11 FITSNews - December 20 - It took a lot longer than he expected, but New York Gov. George Pataki finally got to watch the first steel columns of the Freedom Tower raised into place yesterday
Read story »Barack Obama Is Walking on Water
ILLINOIS SENATOR SO POPULAR RIGHT NOW CONGRESS MAY CRIMINALIZE THINKING BAD THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM FITSNews - December 20, 2006 - Four months ago we couldn't keep Barack Obama and Bakari Sellers straight in our heads. It was a mental block, kind of like the time we thought Elton John was singing "private
Read story »Just Think What He’ll Do As Majority Whip
JIM CLYBURN'S BROTHER PLAYS RACE CARD AFTER REFUSING TO DISCLOSE HIS ROLE IN CONGRESSMAN'S SHADY DEAL FITSNews - December 19, 2006 - Here's what not to say to say to a newspaper after it basically catches your family red-handed receiving $85,000 off of a pork barrel boondoggle pushed through by your
Read story »Tara Connor to Keep Miss USA Crown
CONNOR'S BREASTS RUMORED TO HAVE PLAYED CRITICAL ROLE IN DONALD TRUMP'S DECISION FITSnews - December 19, 2006 - So disgraced Miss USA Tara Connor walks into a meeting with Donald Trump earlier today and walks out getting to keep her crown. Splash News Online has the story, and we just heard it five
Read story »The Greenville News is Losing Its Edge
GANNETT CORPORATE SLOGAN "WHERE PEOPLE DRIVE COVERAGE" EVIDENTLY APPLIES TO DOGS IN BOOTIES AND OLIVER THE SCARF-WEARING PARROT FITSNews - December 19, 2006 - If Dan Hoover were dead, he'd be rolling over in his grave right about now. As it stands, the legendary Greenville News political reporter is
Read story »Not Again
STAR GAMECOCK RECEIVER SYDNEY RICE PLANNING ON STAYING AT USC FOR JUNIOR YEAR - BUT HASN'T RULED OUT NFL DRAFT FITSNews - December 19, 2006 - Great. First a week of indigestion last month worrying about whether or not South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier was leaving for the University of Miami
Read story »The Hammer Has A Blog
THAT'S RIGHT, BUT REGRETTABLY IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BLINK 182 GETTING BACK TOGETHER December 18, 2006 – FITSNews.com – As far as we can tell, there are only two redeeming things about former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay – his nickname (“The Hammerâ€) and the fact
Read story »Mitt Romney Seriously Makes Us Want to Hurl
FAKEST POLITICIAN IN 2008 PRESIDENTIAL RACE DOES KABUKI DANCE WITH UPSTATE SC NEWSPAPER, READERS COMPLAIN OF DIZZINESS, DISORIENTATION FITSNews - December 18, 2006 - So the Spartanburg-Herald Journal has finished up its two-part (meaning part one and part two) series on Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney. It's
Read story »Kwanzaa in Big Trouble
STATE NEWSPAPER REPORTS THAT HOLIDAY IS BASICALLY GETTING ITS ASS KICKED BY CHRISTMAS, HANUKKAH FITSNews - December 18, 2006 - Okay, we saw this article in The State newspaper this morning and almost choked on our blended venti moccha fraps. Apparently, only 2.3 percent of Americans are celebrating
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