Barack Obama Is Walking on Water
ILLINOIS SENATOR SO POPULAR RIGHT NOW CONGRESS MAY CRIMINALIZE THINKING BAD THOUGHTS ABOUT HIM
FITSNews – December 20, 2006 – Four months ago we couldn’t keep Barack Obama and Bakari Sellers straight in our heads. It was a mental block, kind of like the time we thought Elton John was singing “private dancer” and Tina Turner was singing “tiny dancer.” Or the time we took a group of cancer kids to the National Air and Space Museum as part of our Make-A-Wish tour of Washington D.C. and kept mixing up “Glamorous Glennis” with “Galloping Gertie.”
True stories, both.
Now Sellers is no joke. At 21 years old, he’s the youngest member of the S.C. State Legislature and get this – he beat a guy in the Democratic Primary earlier this year who has served in the General Assembly longer than Sellers has been alive.
But as much love as Sellers may be feeling, it’s nothing compared to the swooning going on in the national media over Barack (who is 45, by the way).
It’s almost as if Obama has mind control over the national press corps, kind of like the way Spock had mind control over Kim Cattrall in Star Trek VI (it’s hard to believe anyone on Sex & The City played a Vulcan but it’s true) or the way Chris Tucker claimed to have mind control over Deebo in the movie Friday.
In fact, America’s love for Barack has gotten so totally out-of-control that journalists are inventing terms to describe it, like Barackarama or Obamamania.
Barack is so ridiculously popular right now he could probably sell his poo on E-Bay and never have to work another day in his life. He is so popular he could go on “Meet the Press” with Tim Russert and smack him one upside the head if he got out of line after telling him “Bitch! I told you not to ask me that!” He is so popular right now he could probably use that famous Cool Hand Luke quote (“What we got here is a failure to communicate”) and everyone would just think he invented it. He could probably also singlehandedly bring back bell-bottoms if he wanted to.
Of course, Obama has yet to say that he is running for President of the United States, but if things keep going the way they are Hillary Clinton is in a hell of a lot of trouble.