Tara Connor to Keep Miss USA Crown

CONNOR’S BREASTS RUMORED TO HAVE PLAYED CRITICAL ROLE IN DONALD TRUMP’S DECISION

FITSnews – December 19, 2006 – So disgraced Miss USA Tara Connor walks into a meeting with Donald Trump earlier today and walks out getting to keep her crown.

Splash News Online has the story, and we just heard it five minutes ago on the radio over at Global Joe’s coffee shop on South Main (which has free WiFi, by the way).

What’s up with this? Well, other than the fact she obviously wore something low-cut to the meeting.

It’s one thing that Miss USA is already pretty much a ditzfest compared to Miss America, but now these bimbos get to run around snorting lines and whoring it up Paris Hilton-style?

Geez.

We were hoping “The Donald” was going to show some balls and toy with her for fifteen minutes before telling her his brother had died of cocaine or something like that and then giving her the famous “You’re Fired” line from the Apprentice.

In fact, we’re absolutely certain that was his plan until her breasts entered the room and took control of the situation.

After that, watching Donald Trump in that meeting was probably a lot like watching the Millennium Falcon get sucked into the Death Star, or all those times in the Manchurian Candidate when somebody shows Raymond the Queen of Diamonds.

We honestly wouldn’t be surprised to wake up tomorrow and discover that Donald Trump assassinated somebody, took off that ferret-looking hairpeice and announced to the world that a) He is Luke Skywalker’s father and b) he is marrying Tara Connor.

Seriously, wasn’t this chick in Kentucky popping zits and slutting it up at the Sonic drive-thru in Murfreesboro like what – a week ago?

And now her breasts control the fate of the universe. Nice.