The Hammer Has A Blog

THAT’S RIGHT, BUT REGRETTABLY IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BLINK 182 GETTING BACK TOGETHER

December 18, 2006 – FITSNews.com – As far as we can tell, there are only two redeeming things about former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay – his nickname (“The Hammer”) and the fact that his real name sounds an awful lot like former Blink 182 and current Angels and Airwaves front man Tom DeLonge.

Unfortunately DeLay’s new website, creatively christened www.TomDeLay.com, has nothing to do with Blink 182, Angels and Airwaves, Tom DeLonge or anything even remotely cool.

Which sucks.

What “The Hammer’s” blog does feature prominently are numerous contributors who are not, as it turns out, Tom DeLay.

It’s called a “multiple contributor format,” and its purpose on this website is apparently to keep things exciting while Tom DeLay is off doing whatever it is he does with the rest of his day. (Fly-fishing? Book signing? Seething with impotent rage? Who knows …)

South Carolinians know this multiple contributor format well, it’s the one used by the once-popular Laurinline.

You know, we’d probably give this trendy new blog phenomenon a chance if it actually worked.

Unfortunately, there’s invariably that one, medication-deprived contributor who fails to recognize that the fate of Western Civilization doesn’t actually hinge on whether or not they post a lengthy, bumbling, incoherent soliloquy on immigration reform every five minutes.

Seriously, letting these people onto your website is like giving Robin Williams your password, all the crack rock he can smoke and the following instructions: “No matter how crazy it sounds, you have to write it. The world needs you to do this, Robin.”

Anyway, the requisite air-sucker on DeLay’s website goes by the nom de plume “The Political Pit Bull.” In fact, we were about to hook you up with a link to the Pit Bull’s website, but then we remembered that this article (much like www.TomDeLay.com, oddly enough) was supposed to be about Tom DeLay, not some political junkie who forgot to take their Ritalin.

See how these idiots get you off subject?

For his part, the disgraced former Texas Congressman logs on to his own website sporadically, and when he does it’s usually to a) wax nostalgic about the days when he was important, b) expose the latest MSM (mainstream media) conspiracy, or c) shamelessly pimp for his new GAIN (Grassroots Action and Information Network) organization.

DeLay’s incarnation of GAIN, regrettably, has nothing to do with keeping colors bright and fabrics soft. Nor does it have an incredibly adorable stuffed animal serving as its mascot.

Or was that Snuggle?

Anyway, if you happen to be one of the millions of Americans who enjoy your right wing rhetoric served extra-caffeinated, you can sign up for DeLay’s GAIN group by clicking here.

We’ll be hitting the official Blink 182 website in the meantime.